you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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