just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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