I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
