He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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