OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
