plz talk dirty to me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
God I need to hump something, right now.
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