How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
