She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
and you fell through a lawn chair
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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