So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
