Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
