i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
