Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
