He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
