just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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