you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
