jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
