I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
