Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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