the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
