I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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