Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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