Screwed.edu
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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