considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
