If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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