The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
