honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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