Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
