i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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