But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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