a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
