i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Your penis caused this!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
