I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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