do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
