i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
