This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
