hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
