Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
