We're like a lot better than the average bears
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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