I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
