Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
