Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
