69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
