Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
