She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
