Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
