got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
