my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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