The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
