After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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