And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
