I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
