we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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